practice 15 minutes a day

When I started this 15-minutes-a-day-thing it simultaneously felt like defeat and like a new beginning.
Why defeat? Because "everybody knows" that playing only 15 minutes a day helps nothing. You know, real musicians practice for hours everyday (until they know how to play and then they can stop practicing and play only shows five days a week). So I can't be a real musician. Okay, I'm only faking it.

But then my real adult mind knows that I have to start somewhere (again) and even 5 minutes will be better than zero minutes. And if you have a real life with child, partner, house, garden, work and friends you often don't have these essential 2 to 4 hours for music. And when you start doing it for 15 minutes more often than not you end up sitting at the piano as long as you possibly can. And if you don't you've just done the equivalent of a musical warm-up for 15 minutes.

So, I'll better be going ... I'll be at the piano ...

inner children and inner parents

For some years now I've been working on nurturing my inner child, letting myself have fun and play. This is a good thing, especially when you want to be creative ... (Or organize your life, check out the brat factor).
But lately I found another part of me that needs working on:

my inner parent.

The part of me that says: "I know, you really want to eat more chocolate right now, but since you're only wanting it, because you're tired, you'd better go to bed. The chocolate will still be there tomorrow." And for years I had told myself to shut up, ate the chocolate and didn't go to bed on time. Afterwards I'd complain: "I don't know what to do, I really shoud have gone to bed earlier." (And not have eaten so much chocolate). Lame. Pathetic.

Then I found a whole website dedicated to diet journals. Dozens of women complaining that they were not able to resist the cake/chocolate/potato chip/whatever. As if it attacked them and forcefed them. Or me.

So my inner mommy made up a couple of rules for myself (actually I copied the ones I made for my son - only his rule for drinking alcohol is different from mine), and I stuck to them. Amazing. Why didn't I think of this before? And after being quite stern with myself, once in a while I can say "Okay, but only this one time." and break a rule.

And since every single journal entry I did for the last weeks started with "I'm so tired.", I'll pull out the extra motivational tools. From today on I'll get a sticker on my calendar for every day that I go to bed on time.

For my inner 3 year old.